What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Whats green? The color green.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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