roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops