boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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