When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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