What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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My mom

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Worms don't like apples.

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Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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