There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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