What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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poopy is poopy

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Your mother is so fat.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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