Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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