How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Faithful men.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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