A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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BIG MAC'S

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Your're racist.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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