Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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women's rights.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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