good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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m

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Granny porn!

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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