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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

Granny porn!

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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