Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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