Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

your mama's so fat... that's it

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

Can anyone Lenin money?

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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