Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Roses are red, Violets are violet

Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

Barack Obama plays basketball

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...