Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Jokes = Drained

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops