Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops