A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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