Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

antonio has a penis head.lol

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Lindsay Lohan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is not a car park? Clash of clans

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops