Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

What is my name? I dont know

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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