Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops