Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops