Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Justin's life

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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