What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Womens rights.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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