knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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The snake had no skatebord to put johnnys refrigirator because the bettles mom had stolen the clowns purse were his parking had been for the airplane higway stop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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