Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

bologna

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lets Go Lakers!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops