What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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