There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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