Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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