- Anti Joke

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

Granny porn!

i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger