who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What is life? Paul.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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