What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

thumb_up thumb_down -19

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

thumb_up thumb_down -19

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops