Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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RUN

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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