How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops