Whats black and hangs from my tree? A slave

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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You just read this ..

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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