Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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