A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Male leadership.

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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