A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Emily Walker.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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