SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops