How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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