I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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I love pissing people off :P

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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