How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

Jersey Shore.

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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