Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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