Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops