Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops