How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Women's rights.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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