Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Rylan Clark

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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sfdg

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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