You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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