What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

identical jokes get different votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the NAACP

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops