Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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shut up elliot

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops