Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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