What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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