Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops